


Firebreather

by SlowedMink



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Death, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Jealousy, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2020-06-25 20:25:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19753195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlowedMink/pseuds/SlowedMink
Summary: You have been living most of your life in the underground, your only friend being a man named Farlan. What will happen when he befriends a new man Levi. A man that you have no intention to get closer, and what happens when they eventually joins to Survey Corps, leaving you behind? And what happens when they finally come to get you?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo this is my very FIRST time writing a fanfic, so it will probably not be that extraordinary. Also might contain A LOT of grammatical issues, English is not my first language.
> 
> Also, time timeline might be a little screwed up, but meh
> 
> ! I don’t own any of the characters !

Lights flicker as you walk the narrow streets lingering the underground, the bigger crowds of people have been long gone for tonight. Letting out a small huff, you notice the small cloud that escapes your mouth, **“It’s getting colder”** you murmur to yourself as you pull your jacket closer to your body. It was no secret that once the colder weather was on it’s way, this would be very noticeable down here, the weather changes rapidly. You pull a strand of your h/c hair from your face, tucking it behind your ear as you continue your venue down the alley, eyeing your surroundings. Most people, even some of the thugs would avoid walking around alone at nightfall, out of fear, but not you, the fear that crept in this place had escaped you long ago. 

You were only a teen when you one day got home to discover your entire family, mother, father and older brother, had been murdered by famous thugs from the underground, thus you found yourself among the unfortunate ones that disappeared down the infamous starcaise, with them taking you with them. “Straight down to hell”, as some would put it. However, you were a smart kid, and despite the sorrow from your losses, you somehow managed to escapade, and you had never seen them again. Since then, you had been on your own, struggling to survive. Well, perhaps not completely alone. Shortly after you arrived, you met a boy a few years older than yourself, Farlan. You quickly got close to one another, and he taught you everything you needed to know about surviving in the underground. To you he was warm, sweet person who was actually there to help you, a home that you found in a person, and he was the only friend that you ever had. You were a well working machine, until  _ he  _ had to take one step into the picture.

You still didn’t know how or when Levi and Farlan met, but ever since then everything started to crumble. The relationship and trust that had been built up between you and Farlan was something you cherished, and you owned him for you still being alive. But facts still remained, you and Farlan has struggled to stay alive, mostly due to the lack of food. Levi on the other hand, he had all the skill to pull of sneaking some bread away from the local salesmen, and he had a maneuver gear, all of this made Farlan trust him. He had every skill to be able to survive in the underground, and maybe it was because of jealousy or perhaps it was the simple fact that he was ripping your only friend from you, but you found him infuriating; _you could not stand him_. The difference between yours and Levi’s surviving techniques was that his were working, giving a hard blow towards your own pride,  you could not stand that man. Thus, this eventually lead to you being on your own. Farlan pleaded and begged for you to come with him to what you called “camp Levi”, which in reality was just his apartment. He motivated you to come with for your, and of course his own survival. Being the stubborn person you are, you said that he had to choose, it was either you or Levi, you didn’t need him to survive. With tears flowing down his cheeks, Farlan apologised and said that he would do anything to survive, so that he could see the world above one day. And with that, he walked away and you never heard from him again. Trying to cope with the fact that you had been abounded, you figured that you were better of on your own anyways. This especially showed itself in the later years, you were a lone wolf.

Of course, rumours spreads fast down there, and months later it reached you that the pair had suddenly become a trio. A girl named Isabel had slipped into their life, and once you heard this you could not help but to feel a sting of sadness in your chest, you had been replaced for real now, and since then you had felt completely numb. You were incapable of feeling anything, neither joy or anger. Of course you wouldn’t show yourself being weak because of this, you had trained hard to show all of them that you were fully capable of taking care if yourself, hand to hand combat being your strongest feature. You had stood against walls, beating them till splinters covered your fists, and blood was streaming down from your knuckles. You strength from a blow with your fists were almost inhuman, and you had never lost any of the battles that you had been forced to face. There was always a whole lot of blood and broken bones when you fought, but you had never killed anyone, yet.

When the news arrived that Levi, Farlan and Isabel had been taken by the Scouting Legion, this came to no surprise to you. You had seen them from a distance using their 3DMG, and as much as you hated to admit it, their use of it was extraordinary. This however, was years ago and you had not seen them once since then. Farlan was on your mind everyday, and you cursed yourself for the bitter ending that you got. Regret often strikes you for not coming with him, to join Levi. You’ve heard the rumours, of him being humanity’s strongest but you didn’t not pay any further attention to that rumour. You just hoped that Farlan still was alive.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you saw a small group of men making a lot of noises standing further up the alley, you sighted. They were drunk, and you knew exactly what to prepare for. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself, muscles tensing, clenching your fists. Passing them, one of the men wiggled out in the street towards you.

**“Hello there babe”** he put on a smirk that could have made you punch the living shit out of him, but you remained calm, for now.

**“I think it would be the best for both ofus if you just came home with me tonight, and I think you share that impression”** the man winked, got closer and stretched his arm out to sneak around your waist, hand going upwards towards your breasts and you saw red. You threw away your first punch, a straight fist on his left cheek which left him stumbling backwards. “You bitch!” He screamed while getting closer to you, but you stayed silent, and raised your fists in front of your face. You had dealt with a lot of men approaching you in the street, all with the same intentions. This scum however, were the first one who had put hands on you, it was unforgivable. He swung his fist against you, which you easily avoided, nearly letting out a laugh. This man had really had no idea what he just had gotten himself into. You were a famous name in the underground, you were known for your way of defending yourself, punching your so called victims until they were unrecognisable, but sparing them death, you figured them suffering in the street was a much better punishment. You placed a smirk on your face, and threw another punch at his face, and another one. A kick. A punch. It didn’t take long before the man laid in a puddle of his own blood, breath rasping out of his mouth, teeth shattered around him. Even you found it unbelievable that he was still alive. You took one step closer and took in the sight of this sorry excuse of a man. **“Never lay a hand on a woman again you scum”** you spat, kicked him one more time in the ribs and pawed your way through the rest of his friends, who had been frozen in terror.

The anger began to cool down as you walked further away from the fight, upset calls by the mans friends echoed between the house walls. You haven’t even wiped away the blood from your hands, you would you? This is what you had to do to survive, fight. As you continued walking you were struck by the feeling that you were followed. You slowed down your pace, listening carefully. Yes, there was no doubt, quiet and soft footsteps were walking behind you. You stopped right there in your tracks, without turning around and so did your follower.

**“That was quite a scene you put on there”**. Your blood froze to ice in your veins, years had gone by since you last heard it, but it was the same cold, smooth monotone voice that called out. Turning around slowly, the sight of raven locks and cold grey eyes a few feet away greeted you. After all these years, he still looked the same, nothing had changed. 

Levi. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Guilt is the heaviest burden to bear,  
> Strangling you from the inside of your body.  
> Apologise.  
> Make amends.  
> Let go.
> 
> Breathe free.”  
> \- Nikita Gill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 here we go! I can’t wait to continue writing after this, I feel like the story line is smoothing out more and more and I like it!!
> 
> What will happen now, when reader meets with Levi after all these years, and is he really alone ?

You stood frozen in the spot, no idea how to react. You were usually very composed, keeping your emotions in check. But the mere surprise of seeing him here, as well as the wonder if Farlan was nearby made you wear your heart on your sleeve. You heart was pounding fast, your head felt like a mess while trying to figure out a suitable answer. Levi took one step closer to you. **“You know”** , he paused and observed you. **“You nearly killed that man over there. That doesn’t sound like the girl I knew long ago”**. You squint your eyes and look directly on him, uncertain of what he wanted. **“Well that pig had it coming, it was well deserved”** , you answered. You stayed silent for a couple of seconds but you spoke again before he had a chance to **“And like you said, it was years ago. And you never knew me back then”**. Your voice was stern, cold and straightforward. He raised his eyebrow, but no more words were uttered from his lips, at least not about the past. 

**“Ah Levi, I see that you could catch up to her”**.A strong and deep voice rung out, making you turn your head sharply to the left. Two other men stepped out from a smaller alley, the dim light shining on their features. One of them, he that had spoke, had short blonde hair with bushy eyebrows. Tall, well built. The other one was even taller and had more of a dirty blonde tone on the top of his head. 

**“Tch, it wasn’t such a hard task, considering the mess she made over there”** Levi nodded his head in the direction where the fighting had took place. You snorted, never letting your e/c eyes leave the two men to the left of you. The one with the eyebrows took one step forward, stretching his hand out. **“My name is Erwin Smith. 13th commander of the Survey Corps. This is Mike”** he said, gesturing toward the tall man, apparently named Mike. Mike nodded to you, still keeping his distance. **“And that is Levi over there, but from what I’ve understood you already know each other”** you wrinkled your nose and glanced over to Levi. **“I would not go as far to say that we know each other”** you said coldly. Erwin still had his hand stretched out, and with a little hesitation you met his hand with your own. **“Y/n, but you probably already know that, since you must have a purpose for coming down here”**. You studied him closely, a small smirk made its way to his lips. **”Well you’re not wrong.”** He hesitated a moment before continuing. **“We know that you are very skilled in hand to hand combat, considering all rumours circling about you”** You put on a stern face, not sure where this were going, people had threatened you multiple times that the Military Policewould come and pick you up, due to the fact of all the people that you’ve abused, but you never put there facts to reality. The thought was always in the back of your mind through, that they could come and put you behind bars. You were pulled out of your thoughts by the sound of Levi’s voice ringing through the now so quiet streets. **“Skip the small talk and get to the point Erwin. I don’t feel like spending all night in this filthy place”**. Erwin looked in his direction and nodded, looking back at you. **“So to put all the cards on the table; you have a choice to make. Either you choose to join us, the Survey Corps. It would be a shame if we lost someone with the will and power that you have in you”**. You could not believe your eyes, or should you say ears. This man honestly wanted to recruit you and use you in his army, when you never even used a 3DMG. You couldn’t help but to let out a small laugh at this ridiculous offer. You took three steps forward, standing mere inches away from the commanders face. Leaning forward, you whispered in his ear **“And what if I refuse?”**. He looked you straight in the eye, and you could feel Levi’s look burn in your back. **“Well that’s the other part of the offer, and with the thought of your crimes down here I think you should consider ours the best. If you however choose to deny, we have no other choice than to leave you over to the Military Police.”** You stopped breathing for a while, shit, this man was serious. You stood in silence, weighing the two alternatives. He was right, there was no doubt that the later alternative was no alternative at all. And all of a sudden, Farlan crossed your mind. 

You cleared your throat, and looked up to Erwin. **“It’s not a hard choice is it?”** You smiled and stretched your hand out, shaking it with Erwin who returned the smile. **“Now”** , you said turning to face Levi, **“How’s Farlan doing, I can’t wait to see him again”**. As soon as you uttered those words, you saw something flash in Levi’s otherwise so emotionless face, but you didn’t realise what it was right away, but nevertheless, it gave him away.

Something tied inside of you stomach, and you shook your head. **“No..”** you said while Erwin spoke up behind you. **“I’m so sorry Y/n, but Cadet Church and Cadet Magnolia passed during the 23d expedition outside the walls.”**

You head turned blank, you just stared in front of you in disbelief. You didn’t even say goodbye to him. 

You felt a pain in your chest that you hadn’t felt in a long time, not since your family died, and most of all you despised yourself for letting your pride get in the way of staying with Farlan. You could have prevented this. But the sudden realisation hit you like a truck; It was his fault. You took a sharp turn and looked Levi straight in the eye, and if looks could kill, he wouldn’t be more than a puddle of coal by now. **“You..”** the words came out in a low tone, eyes glaring daggers towards him when you stepped closer to him. **“This is your fault you damn fuck! Damn he** ** trusted  ** **you and that got him killed!”** You screamed at him almost ready to start fighting him. But he stood still, with the same bored look on his face, the other emotion that you couldn’t name long gone. He raised his eyebrow towards you, and took a few steps closer to you, he was close now, so close that you could feel his soft breath against your cheek. **“Is that really so Y/n?”** You shivered by his words, his composed way was really annoying to you, considering what you just heard. **“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I wasn’t the one that _abandoned_ ** **him, was I?”** You lost your breath, you bad temper really starting to bubble up, but you decided this is what he wanted, to rail you up. So you stared him right into his eyes, **“This is not over”** You gritted through your teeth, and turned around to the two men that had observed the scene. **“Shall we go?”** You spat out, looking directly to Erwin. He nodded, and started paving his way through the streets, to the staircase. Levi was quick to go up to his side, with you trailing behind with Mike to your right.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Farlan, and how you would never see him again. The only place that had felt like home since your family was killed had now been ripped apart from you, again. You head hung low, you would never forgive yourself for how it had ended, and you would never forgive  _ him _ .

You couldn’t place it then and there, but the sudden realisation hit you when you where walking upwards, to the stars; that look on Levi’s face for a split second, it has been _guilt_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this second chapter came out quickly, I’m feeling very inspired to write these days and a know where I want to go with this story, so hopefully the flow will continue.
> 
> Constructive criticism is welcome!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving Kudos, it makes me very happy <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Sometimes you will never know the  
> value of a moment, until it  
> becomes a memory  
> \- Dr Seuss”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three here we go! You have arrived to the HQ, making yourself feel at home with a lot of emotions flowing in your mind. 
> 
> You’re not the only one with strong feelings however.

I guess that the only thing you could say about the way you felt was complete numbness. You hated yourself for letting Farlan die with the thought that you hated him. That you didn’t got so say goodbye. It was eating you from the inside and out. This was a feeling that you didn’t know how to deal with, when he left, you had been able to cope with it. When you found out that you had been replaced in his life by Isabel, it had hurt like hell but still, you got used to the pain. You focused on other things to keep our mind occupied. It would sting when you thought of Farlan back then, it really did. The pain didn’t go away,  _ you just made room for it _ . But you always thought that you would get to see him again, some day you would be reunited.

And the worst part of it all was that you knew how much he trusted Levi. He would listen to every command that man gave him just because he thought that Levi always knew what to do, what was the right choice. You hissed and gritted your teeth, if you didn’t like him before he was as good as dead to you now. He had rushed your only friend to a certain death. 

You snapped out of these thoughts and inhaled a sharp breath. **“I need to focus”** you whispered to yourself. And most of all, you would avoid any contact with Levi as far as possible.

With a sigh, you looked around the room that you had been given at the head quarters. It wasn’t so bad, not bad at all actually. It consisted of a bed, a nightstand, a smaller table with a chair, a small dresser and even a mirror. Since you got here after the new recruits had been given rooms, you even had this on your very own, no roommate. This was, according to you, one of the best things to happen, since you preferred to be on your own. Since you arrived, which was about an hour ago, you had gotten some time to get tidy in your room. This didn’t take long at all, due to the fact that you had little belongings. A picture of you with your family which ended up on the dresser.

On the nightstand you placed a picture of you, grinning from ear to ear with Farlan with a wide smile on his face. Your chest had been tied in knots when you unpacked that picture, and you found it hard to breathe. Your vision started to get blurry, but you shook your head and rubbed your eyes,  _ get a grip Y/n. _

You were interrupted by a hard, but short knock on your door. You went to open, knowing damn well who it could be. You opened and to no surprise it was exactly the person you’d expected, the fucking royalty himself. **“Do you want anything?”** You said harshly, you had no intentions at containing a dialogue with Levi, not today nor any other day.

**“Well yes actually I do”** he did not sound that amused himself. Leaning on the doorframe, he crossed his arms over his toned chest. His muscular appearance very noticeable now that he had removed his jacket and was wearing a light grey shirt, top buttons undone, but still with his leather harness on. 

**“And what is that?”** He observed you, eying you from top to bottom. 

**“Four-eyes wants to see you in her office. You are to try out equipment.”** You just nodded to this information, turned around while slamming the door into his face, or so you thought. He managed to slip his foot in the way, preventing the door from shutting. He took one step into the room, looking around. 

**“You have no business being in my room, so leave”** you tuned your head to look at him, meeting his eyes. 

**“And you know, since you now are a official member of the Survey Corps, that you should treat me with respect. I am your superior.”** This made you turn around completely, meeting his gaze one again. Those eyes of his were just as cold as they always was, as they always used to be. You on the other hand, your eyes were burning with hate as you took one step closer. You remembered at one time, just when Farlan first had met Levi that he had compared you two. _**“You two are the polar opposites! He’s ice, and you are just like fire”**_ , he had ruffled your hair after saying this, and in this situation that you were in now you would say that it was a fair conclusion. He was composed, always observing a situation before making any move. You on the other hand, you were impulsive, letting your temper get the best of you at any given situation. You knew that Levi were trying to make you angry, you could tell by the smug look on his face, and that he hadn’t punished your disrespectful manner, yet. You decided that you would not give him what he wanted, and not pick up the fight that was sparking beneath the surface.

**“Well then”** you stepped up beside him **“Make yourself comfortable,** **_Sir_.” **

You stepped out of your room to make your way over to the person who wanted to see you. You had no idea who “Four-eyes” was but you thought of asking someone on your way there, spending as little time talking to Levi as possible. 

Little did you know that the second you walked out the door, the oh so cold man got a glimpse of the photo of the two youths, smiling towards a camera standing on your nightstand. He went to pick it up, and pure agony was written all over his face.

You paved your way through the corridors, it was soon dinner time, so there was people all over the place, much to your disliking. You looked over to a group of three persons, one of them, a blonde boy were sitting in a window with a book in his lap, while the other boy and girl sat on a bench in front of the said window. You stopped, and changed direction to walk over to the little trio. 

**“Hi..”** you begun, uncertain. **“I was just wondering, it’s a stupid question really, but could you give me the real name of the person that goes under the nickname Four-Eyes?”** You almost felt embarrassed, but kept the confident look on your face. The boy with blonde hair, looked up to you with his ocean blue eyes, smiling. **“That must be Squad-Leader Hanji, you’re searching. Her office is down this corridor, then you take a turn to the left, and her office door should be the fourth one from that turn”** he said with a soft voice. The other two remained silent, the boy looked at you with his intense green eyes, curious, while the girl had focused her gaze somewhere else. **“Thank you very much. Your name is?”** You kept your focus on the blonde, already feeling like this was a person that you were going to like meeting in the corridors from time to time. 

**“Armin, Armin Arlert!”** He looked a little nervous, but the smile still remained on his face. He looked warm, kind.  _ Like someone else I used to know.. _

**“Well then, thank you very much Armin”** you smiled towards the boy and continued down the hallway. 

**“Hey isn’t that the woman that the Commander and Corporal got from the underground earlier today?”** You heard the other boy ask his friends, excitement clearly in his tone. **“Shh Eren she could hear you!”** Armin sounded horrified, but you didn’t take any notice to the small conversation happening, you just let them be.

You walked according to Armins direction, and much like he said you found yourself in front of a dark, thick wooden word with the name Hanji Zoë on it. You lifted your hand, and knocked the door two times. You didn’t even have time to lower your arm before you heard quick footsteps and the door swung open. In front of you was a woman, brown hair tied up in a ponytail and glasses in top of her head.  So that is why she is called four-eyes..

**“Ahhh Y/N come in come in! I have waited so long to finally meet you and here you are!”** She gripped your shoulder and pulled you into her office while closing the door. **“I’m squad leader Hanji Zoe! And even through I know exactly who you are we still need to introduce us properly!”**

She stretched her hand out, and you took it, slightly overwhelmed. **“Y/n, but like you said, you already knew my name.”** You paused and looked around you. **“So what am I here for exactly?”** Hanji rubbed her hands together while smiling towards you.

** “We’re trying out clothes for you, as well as equipment. It will probably not take that long and I think I have the correct size clothes and boots, but it’s better to be certain!” **

After a couple of minutes trying out clothes, boots and Hanji helping you get the leather harness in correct size, you were exhausted, this woman was intense. 

**“There there, I think we got everything in place now!”** She clapped her hands in excitement. **“You will get your gear tomorrow. That will also be your first training day, to get a hang of it.”** You felt a feeling of anticipation grow in your stomach. **“It sounds like I will have a good day tomorrow then.”** You smiled at Hanji. **“Will you be helping me?”** You asked her. You felt comfortable around Hanji, even through she was a lot to handle, and it would feel very good having her to help you. She nodded enthusiastically. **“You got that right Y/n! And since you know each other from the past, Levi will also be there to assist.”** No. No way. **“We did not know each other back then. Why does everybody seem to think that?”** You questioned her, annoyance clearly in your tone. **“Please Hanji, I do not want that man there.”** You pleaded, letting her see your softer side for a split second. **“Gee I wish I could do something about that Y/n, but he said that he was to be joining us tomorrow. I really do think he wants to help you succeed.”** You snorted, letting out a small laugh. **“If he wants to see me succeed that bad then he shouldn’t have dragged my best friend into this legion, just so he would die.”** You gritted your teeth, the pain in your chest making itself reminded. **“You’re talking about Farlan Church, aren’t you?”** Hanji’s voice were soft, and you could almost feel your eyes getting wet, before blinking the tears away. **“You know, you shouldn’t be too hard on Levi about his death, you have no idea how that affected Levi. He took it pretty hard.”** You inhaled sharply, You didn’t want to take her words to you but you really started to think about it. Farlan was Levi’s friend as well, and they seemed to have been kind of close to each other. But still, you shook your head, he was the reason why Farlan was dead, and you could not forgive him for that, no matter how guilty he might have felt.

You said goodbye to Hanji, it was late and you wanted to get in bed to prepare for the upcoming day, you were excited but also very, very nervous. You did not want Levi to be there, you did not want him giving you tips and mocking you when it didn’t go as planned. 

Sighting, you stepped into your room, only to see a change from when you had left the room. It would have been easy to miss, but you could see right away, that the picture of you and Farlan had been moved from its original position, not much, maybe one or two inches, but it had been moved. 

Levi had been looking at it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo that’s that. Pretty good flow with the writing here in the beginning. 
> 
> Still, I apologise so much for the grammatical issues in the text.. i don’t have access to my own computer atm so I’m writing everything on my phone, and I find it very hard to control read properly this way.. also my thumbs are getting tired haha! 
> 
> AND the chapters are rather long? I’m sorry? Or do you like it? Should they be longer, shorter? Are they good the way they are? Let me know !
> 
> Thank you so much for reading and leaving kudos on this story, it means that some of you are liking it a little and that warms my heart, thank you very much!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There are far, far better things ahead,  
> Than any we leave behind.  
> \- CS. Lewis”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The time has come for your first training session, but not before some gossiping between the stoic corporal and his fellow squad member. The question is, how does your first time trying the 3DMG go?

The sound of your alarm clock woke you up the next day. You groaned as you turned over in bed to shut the device off. Sitting up, you stretched your arms above you head and let out a big yawn. You hadn’t slept this well since you could remember. Swinging your legs over the side of the bed, they made contact with the very cold floor. You shivered, and grabbed a hair tie by the nightstand and put your h/c hair up into a bun. You looked out the window that was placed right beside the bed and felt a pit of worry starting to grow in your stomach, the sky was in a alarming shade of dark blue and grey, which warned you that you could experience some heavy downfall during your first 3DMG practice.  _ “Great, just my fucking luck” _ you said to yourself.    
You pulled on the white trousers that you had been given, as well as a white button up shirt. Somehow you managed to get the harness on by your first try, which you mentally patted your own shoulder for. Slipping into the boots and pulling your hair down, you exited your room to make your way over to breakfast.    
  
You had no trouble finding the mess hall, there was a lot of noise coming from that direction. You just hoped that you would be able to find a place somewhat private to eat. While entering the doorway you understood that that will not be the case, the tables were flooded with people. “ _ Well shit, how many people are there even in this legion _ ..” you muttered while heading over to the line where you could get your food. The breakfast consisted of a bread loaf, some oatmeal and a glass of milk. It was fair to say that you were in heaven. Your life in the underground had never consisted of this much food, and you often had to spend your days hungry, looks like that will not be the case in your new life here.    
You picked your tray up and looked around you, and managed to see an empty spot at a table, so if course you headed there. On your way, you didn’t notice a pair of silver eyes following your every step.   
  
**“Corporal, is that the girl you and the commander went to get from the underground?”** Levi turned his head towards Petra, who had a forced smile on her face.  **“Yes, that’s her”** he gave her a short answer as he continued his breakfast.  **“Oh I see.. from what I’ve heard you had a bit of a past..?”** She sounded unsure, not confident it This was a suitable question to ask her superior.    
**“Tch, we had one friend in common. Nothing more, nothing less”** the answer was cold, while the man was glaring daggers at the h/c girl sitting across the room, eating by herself.  _ She really hasn’t changed a bit  _ he thought to himself.    
“ **With the risk of this sounding a bit wrong sir..”** Petra hesitated before turning towards Levi  **“I really don’t understand what good use the Survey Corps could have of her. I mean.. she hasn’t even used a 3DMG before!”** She looked worried about the answer she was gonna get, and Levi was just supposed to answer, but the oh so energetic woman piped in to the conversation. **“OF COURSE Y/n will be of use to us!”** She exclaimed, a bit too loud for Levi’s liking. Hanji leaned towards Petra, one hand on her shoulder, the other one pointing at you.  **“That girl over there is a master at hand to hand combat, I honestly think she would bet anyone here, considering her records”** she said, winking to Levi.  **“That May be the case”** Petra shrugged Hanji off herself  **“But that doesn’t help the case that she’s never witnessed how brutal the Titans are, and being a good fighter won’t help her outside the walls!”**   
The table went silent, and Levi turned her head to face Petra, who looked proud over her conclusion and gave him one of those sweet smiles.  **“Petra”** he said,  **“I think it’s important that you do not speak up on the things you don’t know shit about”** she looked surprised and even a bit embarrassed.  **“I- I’m so sorry Corporal I shouldn’t ha-“** she didn’t get any further until Levi interrupted her.   
**“Cadet L/n has lost everything that shes ever had in her life. She even saw her entire family get devoured by titans, so I’m certain she’s fully informed of how merciless this world can be”** Petra nodded, and stayed silent. Hanji looked at Levi with a studying face, before smiling and got up from her seat. This conversation was over for today.    
  
You on the other hand, had just finished your breakfast, but you didn’t find the atmosphere that enjoyable. In the other side of the table you were seated on, there was a larger group of teens, with wild discussions that had bothered you very much. You had, throughout the entire meal, shot glares at them, but it seemed like they didn’t notice, or maybe they just didn’t bother.   
You left the tray at the dishes, and headed back to your room. You got in, and quickly gathered your jacket, as well as the cloak, the raining was pouring down outside the window. You were very nervous, since there was no way to predict how your first training session would turn out. You picked all of your h/c hair into a high ponytail to keep it from your face, gave yourself a nod in the mirror and went outside to walk to the training grounds.

Arriving to the scene, you saw two person standing at the training grounds, one woman and a slightly shorter man. Anxiety swelled up in your stomach when you saw that Levi really intended on being there with you. 

**“Hello Y/n! Are you excited?”** Hanji went up to pat your shoulder, giving you a smile on the way. Levi said nothing,he didn’t even look at you, and did nothing to acknowledge your presence.  **“Yeah I guess.. “** you shot Hanji a weak smile as you got instructions on how this training would look like. Firstly, your mere skill of keeping upright would be tested, so before you knew of it, you were hanging by your hips a couple of inches in the air. This was no problem for you at all, and you thanked your lucky stars for keeping your workouts very targeted to your core, you didn’t find it difficult at all to stay upright. 

**“Well hot damn Four-Eyes, we got ourselves a natural.”** You turned your head towards Levi who had spoke in an almost  _ mocking-like _ voice.  **“I didn’t doubt you a second Y/n! Maybe you could try to fly a bit in the small forest over there?”** Hanji showed you how to use the triggers, but it looks like the short corporal was wrong about you being a natural.

Luckily for you, they only let you try on low heights, because in less than five minutes you had crashed to the ground more than 10 times. **“Fucking hell!”** you punched the ground for tubleming down once again, laying on the forest floor on your back. Your vision was suddenly covered with a blank face, and raven locks. **“Your timing is shit.”** You swear to god that he had a little smirk on his face saying this, and you quickly got up to make another try, and another, and another. With every failed attempt, Levi was giving you.. Well inputs on what you were doing wrong. _Stay more upright, pull in the strings earlier, don’t lean that much forward_ and so on. You would like to imagine that he was actually trying to help you. _If it weren't for that damn smirk across his face and the amusement in his voice,_ and you had gotten very, _very_ annoyed by now _._

**“Gee Y/n I really thought you would be good at this”** Hanji said in a whiny voice when you were hanging upside down from a tree.  **“Well it would have been a lot easier if that fucking** **_short stout_ ** **wasn't giving his smart-ass remarks all the damn time!”** The words had just left your mouth when you realise what you just said,  _ that fucking short stout. _ Hanji slammed her hand to her mouth, trying to avoid the laughter threatening to get out. Levi on the other hand, did not look amused, you had in fact never seen him with such an angry look on his face. 

**“L/n. After this training session, my office.”** And with those words he just left.

Oh fuck.

He was gonna kill you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news, I have gotten my computer back so the writing is going sooo much smoother now, thank god!!  
> Like i've said before, I feel really motivated with this story and you guys liking it makes it so much better, thank you so much!  
> Also, looks like the reader is in a little bit of trouble, what will this lead to? *winky face*


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There is a nobility in compassion,  
> A beauty in empathy,   
> A grace in forgivness.  
>  \- John Connolly “

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in the last chapter Reader got themselves in a tough situation, how will this turn out, what will Levi do?

You were fucked.

The anxiety in your stomach had only been growing during the rest of your training session with Hanji, you honestly had no idea what to expect for a punishment. Run laps for three days straight? Stable duty for the rest of your life? You tried your very best to focus on managing the 3DMG, and you actually succeeded on moving a few meters forward in the small forest. 

**“YOU DID IT Y/N!!”** Hanji came running towards you after your succeeded attempt and gave you a big bear hug.  **“Let's say we end this right here then, they say you’re supposed to stop when it’s going well.”** You nodded but stayed silent, wishing that you and Hanji would have continued this session for a couple of weeks, just so you didn’t have to go to his office afterwards.

**“Hanji he’s gonna fucking kill me”** you sent her a pleading look and the nervousness could be heard in your voice. You knew that Levi was unpredictable, and he could be merciless when he lost his temper.

**“Relax Y/n, I honestly think he just wanted to help you,”** Hanji smacked your shoulder and started walking away.  **“You’re witty Y/n, I’m sure you can talk your way out of this situation. Good luck!”** she said over her shoulder, walking further and further away from you.

You just looked after her, and walked towards the building where you kept your gear stocked when you didn’t use it. Leaving yours on your assigned shelf, you tried to come up with a plan to not get killed by Levi, and you found that the best way to solve this situation was to swallow the pride and just apologize and thank him for his... _ tips _ . Unbuttoning the two top buttons in your shirt, and loosening up the harness a bit to make yourself more comfortable, you started to make your way to the HQ. 

Walking through the hallways, you could kitterly feel your heartbeat up in your throat, you were honestly unsure if you had even been this afraid before, and that wa rich to say, considering your background. You arrived to his office way sooner than you would have wished for, so you just stopped in front of his door and tried you best to pull yourself together.  _ Come on Y/n, you have been through stuff way worse than this.. _

You slowly raised you hand to knock, took a deep breath, and let you hand meet the dark wooden door. 

**“State name and business”** you felt shivers down your spine from just hearing his voice on the  _ other goddamn side of the door _ . 

**“Eh, Y/n, Sir. Here for my punishment I suppose.”** you felt immensely proud over yourself for not stuttering while uttering those words. you heard the chair squeak against the floor as he pulled it back and got up, followed by soft steps coming towards the door.

He opened the door, stepped aside and gestured for you to enter, which you did.

Looking around, you took in the surrounding of his office. It was dark, dark wood both on the walls and floor, as well as the desk. He closed the door, and moved to sit in the chair behind the desk. You stood uncomfortably in front of the desk, suddenly very unsure what to do with your arms and hands, so you just crossed them over you chest.

**“Okay Sir...”** you started of, unsure of how to continue,  **“I’m sorry. That outburst was uncalled for. Hope you can accept my apology.”** He tilted his head and studied you up and down, eyes narrowing and you caught a glimpse in them that you could not place what it was. He then shook his head.

**“Look Y/n. I’m just trying to help you in your training, but it is a bit of an understatement that you sucked at it. You may want to deny it how much you want but I know you. You haven't changed a bit since we first met even though you want to believe so for yourself.”** Now it was your turn to observe him and try to figure out why he hadn’t punished you yet. You took in his features, he didn’t look mad at all, you couldn't read out what he was feeling at all. You looked as he leaned back in his chair and pulled a hand through his hair. suddenly you felt that you wanted to do the same, just pull your fringes through those pitch black locks. You snapped back to reality as he spoke again.  **“I know that the best way to trigger you to get better is by annoy you, make you mad. You can’t deny it, it’s exactly what happend when Farlan came with me instead. You got angry. And that made you survive in the underground. I want to see the same thing happen now.”**

You thought about what he just had said, it had left you speechless. You had no idea on how to respond to this, which left the room in silence

**“And why exactly do you care?”** you mumbled. He had never shown such compassion to you, and you didn’t really know how to act. Before you knew it, he got up from his chair and walked towards you, stopped in front of his desk and leaned back on it, he was close now. Less than a meter between the two of you. There was a certain tension growing in the room which you could not pinpoint exactly what it was, but it was making you slightly uncomfortable. 

**“Because I do. And because I know that Fralan more than anything in this world would have wanted to see you succeed Y/n, he was my friend to you know”** he took one step closer to you, he was so close now that you could feel his soft breaths on your skin.  **“Therefore, your punishment will be that I continue to attend your training sessions in the near future. I think that will do as penalty,** **_for this time_ ** **”** he smirked and leaned forward to whisper in your ear  **“Dismissed”.** You shivered and you could tell he noticed since the smirk stayed on his face, and the tension in the room had gotten thicker by the second. You nodded, and made your way out of the room as quick as possible.

  
  


Little did you know, the titan-obsessed woman of the Survey Corps had already payed Levi Ackerman a visit before you, while you were putting away your things. She knocked in his door and stepped in before he had answered to the knock. 

**“Why do you just step into my office like that, and what do you want?”** he didn’t even bother to look up to Hanji while asking her the questions.

**“Hey,”** Hanji stepped closer to his desk, clearing her throat.  **“Take it a bit easy on her, will you?”** This caught his attention, as he looked up to observe her, while raising his eyebrow. Before he had a chance of answering, she continued.  **“She’s really trying her best you know. And meeting you again and finding out about her best friends death has been rough for her. She’s going through a tough time, and I just want you to consider this.”** He opened his mouth as if to answer, but closed it again and just nodded to Hanji. She gave him a soft smile, turned on her heels and walked out of his office. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo some tension is growing between Reader and Levi, what will this lead to in the upcoming chapters?  
> I apologize for the late update, but life has been pretty hectic so I haven't really had the time to sit down and write, but I hope to put the next chapter together very soon!
> 
> Like always, constructive criticism is very welcome and mind the grammatical issues, still not used to write like this.  
> Thank you SO much for the kudos and comments, it means a lot <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Small progress  
> Is still progress
> 
> \- Unknown"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Readers training is moving forward, but a decision made behind their back makes anger flush up between reader and Levi once again, but they manage to make a new friend.

The following days in the Survey Corps looked the same for your part. 3DMG for hours every day. Luckily for you, the training really started to show results. You could now completely control where you were going with the wires, even in a high speed, and you had just recently started to use the blades on the wooden titans in the forest. 

Hanji had helped you through most of it, but you had gotten most of your help from Levi, surprisingly enough. He was still very harsh on you, and seemed amused when you didn’t succeed, but you were surprised to see that he had a softer side to him. You had just finished a rather intense session with Levi, and things had gone very, very well. Landing on the ground swiftly, you let out a huff and begun to undo yourself from the gear. In the corner of your eye you could see Levi approach you. 

**“Hey Y/N, you’re really showing progress, but I don’t think it’s happening fast enough for you to join our next expedition in one and a half week”** you turned your head sharply towards him. You had heard rumors about the new expedition, not that anyone had mentioned anything to you, but words spread fast in the corridors. 

**“Seriously? You really think i’m just gonna stay here, sit on my ass and be completely useless for humanity’s victory against the titans?”** you couldn’t believe it. You had really trained your ass of to get better in just a mere week, for nothing. You were not even angry, you just felt disbelief about the whole situation. If you were not of any use for the Survey Corps in any matter when it came to fighting titans, why did they even come and get you?

**“It would be a suicide mission, you would get yourself killed immediately.”** Levi said this with a completely blank expression, and you couldn't help but to feel like it hurt you a bit. You let out a soft laugh and turned straight towards him.

**“So I’m really that useless, huh… Well then. I don’t see the purpose of me getting about 3 more sessions with the gear than anyone else. I’m done with extra training.”** you raised your hands up, fists balled and released them as if you were making an explosion with your fists, and walked away from him. You knew that it was unfair to get so annoyed with Levi, when you guessed that this was Erwins decision, he wanted to protect his soldiers, but you couldn't accept the fact that you were to stay at the HQ when everyone else will be out, risking their lives. And it bothers you that Levi had to be the one breaking this down to you,  _ as if he cared if you died or not _ . 

Frustrated, you made your way to the shelter to lock your things up. It was lunch time, and you knew that after that it was finally time for your very first hand to hand combat session with the 104th trainees squad. It was perfect, some way to let some steam come off. 

You made your way towards the mess hall, that had already gathered with most of the members. You walked past the table with the higher ups, Erwin nodded and smiled to you, Hanji gave you a big grin and waved, whereas Levi and Petra did not acknowledge you at all, to no surprise. You did nothing to acknowledge them either, you just grabbed a tray and filled it with a bowl of soup, a breadloaf and a cup of tea and walked out of the mess hall again, you wanted to sit outside and eat today, load your batteries for what you knew would be your time to really shine.

Levi had followed you with his eyes as you walked out with your tray, obviously not eating inside the hall today. He knew that you wouldn’t be satisfied with not joining the next expedition, but he and Erwin had discussed it and figured that it was the best they could do considering the situation. They both knew, that you were too inexperienced to step outside the walls, and Erwin would speak to you in a few days about the decision.

**“How’s the 3DMG going for the new girl, Corporal Levi?”** Levi turned his head to the right and was greeted with a stiff smile from Petra,  _ she must have seen me looking after her,  _ he thought to himself. 

**“She’s improving, seems like she’s starting to get a hang of it now”** he replied. It looked as if Petra were to say something more, but she closed her mouth, smiled at him and got back to eating her lunch. He could feel Erwin shifting is his seat next to him, and tuned to face him when he figured that the commanted wanted to say something.

**“Did you say anything to her, about the expedition?”** Erwin looked at Levi. The question didn’t come as a surprise, they had talked about it just the day before. It was a mutual agreement that you should say at the HQ when the rest of the soldiers, those not injured of course, went outside the walls. You were improving, yes, but like Levi had told you before, both Erwin and him had decided that it would be an unnecessary risk with you accompanying them. 

**“I mentioned it to her”** was his simple answer before returning to his meal. Erwin raised his eyebrow.

**“And? How did she take it?”** Levi sighed, and pinched the bridge of his nose.

**“Tch, I guess you can say she took it well for being, well, her.”** It seemed like Erwin understood that you had not been happy with the decision, and he made a mental note to himself that he would speak to you himself, commander to soldier between. And with that, he turned away from Levi and continued his meal. Petra gave both the men a worried look before staring down on her tray.

While this conversation took room, you had found yourself sitting against a tree trunk by the stables. It was a hot day, but the shadow underneath the tree in combination with the soft breeze made it a comfortable temperature, for being lunch time. After finishing your meal, you closed your eyes and leaned back against the trunk, smelling nature and enjoying the sound of hooves against the ground, and in the distance, the sound of footsteps that were coming closer. You wrinkled your nose, assuming that it was Levi coming to annoy you about being a useless idiot once again. 

**“Eating lunch outside today, huh?”** To your surprise, it wasn't a voice that you recognised, which lead to you peering one of your eyes open. In front of you was a boy a few years younger than you, with a two-toned hairstyle. You had never seen him before.

**“Well obviously, who are you genius?”** you closed your eye again and leaned back once more, and you heard the boy clear his throat. 

**“My name is Jean, Jean Kirschtein. You always look so lonely… so I figured that I might introduce myself, s-so that you might have someone to.. To hang around I guess”** the boy named Jean stuttered a bit, you guessed he was nervous. 

**“And may I ask Jean, you didn’t think about the fact that maybe I just like being alone?”** you smiled while still keeping your eyes closed.

You heard Jean take a step back.

**“Well, shit. No didn’t think about that. I-I’m sorry. I’ll.. just leave now I guess.”** you stood up and smiled towards the boy.

**“Nah, I guess that it would be nice to have someone to hang around”** you stretched your hand out.  **“I’m Y/n, it’s nice to meet you”** Jean met your hand and smiled, shaking it.

**“And i’m Jean.”**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY!!!! A new chapter! I had a hard time getting through this chapter, and from now I really think things will start to happen….( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Anyhow, Jean is in the picture, it was about time! Also, might have spelling and grammar errors, I always write late at night so when I’m finished I’m too tired to read through it… sorry.
> 
> Thank you SO much for leaving kudos and reader to EVERYONE! When I first started writing this i didn’t think that so many of you would like it, it makes me very, very happy. Thank you.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Care too little, you will lose them.  
> Care too much, you will get hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Hehe *anxious rub behind the ear* I’m FINALLY back with a new chapter, in which Jean is friendly, and Levi is… jealous? ENJOY!

You ended sitting against the tree with Jean til’ the late afternoon. He had asked a lot about your background, with no hesitation at all which surprised you. All the other soldiers, with an exception of Levi, that you had talked to during your stay here had a bad habit of sneaking around with the questions; they wanted so desperately to know, but they were afraid to just ask the question straight out. This did not apply to Jean through, which came as a relief to you. He listened with curiosity about your childhood, and countioned with questions as you’d go. You didn’t mention Farlan through, nor your past history with Levi.  
He also told you about his home-town, Trost, which had been overrun by the titans, about the death of his best friend Marco, how he first had in mind to join the Military Police, but after his death changed his mind and how he would do anything in his power to revenge his death. During these few hours, you gained a respect for Jean. He was straight-forward, but not rude, unlike someone else you knew.  
It struck you that this was the second time that you had felt this comfortable with anyone, the first one being with Farlan. Your chest ached when you thought of how similar the boys were.  
Taking a look towards the sun that was setting lower, you took a deep breath.  
“Well, it’s getting late. And I was planning on going for a run” you said while standing up.  
“But it was very nice talking to you Jean, it feels like i finally found a friend in here” you smiled towards him while a small blush erupted his face. He stood up as well and dusted his legs off.  
“I thought it was nice too, you always seemed to intimidating, but now i know this is not the case. But something's got to be wrong with you, since you’re about to run in your free-time” Jean gave you a playful punch to your arm and started walking away, waving over his shoulder.  
“Catch you later, grounder princess” he piped as he walked further and further away. You shook your head to his nickname and walked the other way, preparing for a set of intervals. 

Half an hour later, you were walking back to the HQ, the sun was setting behind you, leaving the sky in a burning orange shade. You were breathing heavily, but you felt satisfied, you statima had always been good, but at the physical condition that you were in now, you felt invincible. As you got closer to the entrance, you saw a rather short person leaning towards the wall. You groaned on the inside, you had no interest talking to Levi whatsoever right now, you were still frustrated with him.

You decided that you’d just walk past him, pretending that he didn’t exist, it would be very immature, yes, but you knew that you would start fighting again if he started talking about you not following in the next expedition.  
You started whistling a cheerful tune, knowing fair well that Levi did not enjoy whistling one bit, and you could always try and get a little on his nerves. You were 10 meters away from him now, 5 meters, in just a second you would be past him, and he hadn’t said anything yet. That however would change when you were directly in front of him.  
“Hey” he’s voice was deep and made you shiver on the inside, but you continued walking. “Y/n cut the crap, stop” he said as he reached out and grabbed you by your upper arm. You sighed and turned to face him, realising that you could not ignore him in this current situation.  
“Yes my dearest Corporal, what do you want?” you answered, voice lingering with sarcasm. He shook his head, letting out a small, very dry laugh before turning his gaze back to you. He looked breathtaking in this light, the golden hour gave his porcelain skin the ever so slightly hint of a tan, and his steel gray eyes looked lighter than usual.  
“You’re impossible, you know that? I’ve been trying to find you all afternoon, unavailing of course, after finding out you spent it with that brat Kirstein.” you observed him, trying to find out why in the world he had been looking for you, and why it bothered him that you spent time with Jean. He couldn’t be… jealous? No. That would be as far out of this world as you would come.  
“So? He’s a cool guy. And why have you been looking for such a worthless piece of human being as myself?” you responded while throwing your arms up. He on the other hand pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned.  
“Can you stop saying that, that you’re worthless? You can’t possibly be that much of an idiot to think that’s the reason why you’re not coming with the rest of us next week” Levi’s voice was calm, with a mild hint of frustration in it.  
“Then please be so merciful and let me know why”  
“You’re gonna get yourself killed. You have no idea of what it’s like out there” you laughed at his stupid answer.  
“Why do you even caaaare, Levi? You never cared about me in the past” you continued to laugh at this absurd situation, but was abruptly disturbed by his response.  
“Well because I do, Y/n.” he shook his head again and turned away from you.  
“You know what, forget it”  
And with that, he just walked away, in to the HQ, leaving you wondering what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo that is that!! Sorry for the very long intermission, I’ve just been really struggling with my self confidence and it’s feels like everything I do becomes shit lmao. But I will really try to update more, cause i really like where this is going!!  
> Thank you so much for leaving kudos in my absence, it has really motivated me to get back to this story <33  
> *Sorry about all the spelling mistakes all over this chapter probably, I’ve felt my fingers slip on the keyboard multiple times hehe*

**Author's Note:**

> So there is the first chapter, mainly focusing on the readers backstory. It wasn’t that good but I hope you get the gist of it and will continue reader to find out how the story developers.
> 
> Constructive criticism is always welcome!


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